TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
