Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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