i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
