I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize