like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just invented taco cereal.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
