you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
