Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
