Me. At least after what I've been through.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
