Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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