How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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