Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
