they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
zippers are such a cool invention
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
