last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
