we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
