I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
