Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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