you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
