dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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