i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
