We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
