Got a toothbrush?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize