i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
