We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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