I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
there is glitter all over my balls
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
