Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
