very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
