drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
