Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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