Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
