so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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