At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Randomize
