is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
