Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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