i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I love you.
Bad choice
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize