saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
