WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You made out with two different species that night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
