dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
