walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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