So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My pussy is not your playground.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up under a house in Key West
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