You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
