i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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