how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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