During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize