My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well you can't waste a boner
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
wow bdsm is so cute
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
