Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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