How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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