I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
