dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
