Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
