last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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