she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
