I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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