i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
