I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
