her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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