plz talk dirty to me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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