Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
