i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize